the news of the century

I found out this afternoon that I was awarded the tuition scholarship that I applied for to go and study in Perugia this summer.

all I can really say at this moment is:

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

as I jump and flap and shriek <----------I think I have reached dolphin pitch so if you happen to be within a ten mile radius and you heard something very high frequency ringing noise at about 3.30 this afternoon, that was me finding out about my scholarship.........

the epitome of alienation

I am sitting in a cafe nearby to my house. In the past hour I have not seen one person without some technological device preventing their unfettered interaction with another human being. Every person in here right now (except for those who work here) is sitting behind a computer (myself included) and there have been four of the six computer junkies on the phone (and quite loudly) in the past fifteen minutes

Please explain to me how we became so completely cut off from one another: we have every modality of communication so available to us ALL THE TIME, but we still aren't communicating with each other....how does that work?


SIGH

springtime with Machiavelli

Well friends, spring has finally sprung. How do I know this you may ask.....well I present to you the top ten ways to know that spring is here in New York City:
1. the return of Duffy
Duffy is this old guy who sits outside on a bench on the main boulevard in my neighbourhood. I saw him this morning and I haven't seen him since that nice weekend in January (the one when we had a 70 or 75 degree F day) and whom I haven't seen with regularity since probably November. He hibernates during the winter, I'm convinced
2. I am wearing a sweater
no but I mean, I'm not wearing a jacket, hat, scarf, mittens, and boots. I'm wearing a sweater and sneakers
This is a sure sign of spring (although I DO admit that I tend to underdress in an attempt to convince myself that the weather is nicer than it really is)
3. The sun is WARM
I can feel it through my clothes
4. I went to the garden today and shoots are UP!!!!!!!!!!
5. Yesterday was the vernal equinox (which only means that it promises to get warmer soon....maybe)
6. The light is incredible and golden not the steely light of winter
7. All the trees have buds (or reasonable fascimilies thereof)
8. Machiavelli is becoming clearer (don't ask how that relates to it being springtime, it was just something that made me happy)
9. All sorts of stupid people are out (again, not in and of itself a portent of spring, just observing)
10. I had an iced coffee today <----------a sure sign that the weather is warming and the sun is shining and life is generally okay

in the mind of the mind

it's how I once entitled a poem

but more.......it's a philosophy?? (I beg to differ)

some ramblings for today:
1. people have no idea how to drive (this is a revelation?) I was on the highway this morning, reflecting on the fact that when it comes to the operation of a motor vehicle (whic c'mon people, isn't really all that hard after all) people are painfully ignorant about which pedal is which. I mean, really, it is not as though the standard transmission has made a deft and surprising comeback as the preferred automobile transmission in this country. Sure, people still have them (mostly for posterity, I believe) but by and large, unless you're driving a tractor-trailer, I think it's safe to say that you're most likely driving a vehicle with an automatic transmission (not to mention the things I wish I had: power door locks, power windows, power steering, power brakes, airbags<------I'm quite happy without those, thanks perhaps also a cd player/am-fm radio or maybe a cassette deck and a moon or sun roof). Hence, it should not be all that difficult to operate said motor vehicle and you should most of the time be happily motoring along........you'd think so anyway. With all the modern conveniences afforded in today's motor vehicles (I'm surprised they don't come stock with microwave ovens yet) you'd think that drivers could tear their eyes away from the television (which sadly, is located BEHIND THEIR SEAT) and pay attention to the road. I mean christ, it's like you never left your living room! except for the microwave, which is of course in the kitchen (perhaps the trunk? no that would be too inconvenient....you'd actually have to get out to make the popcorn, though not if you had a hatchback.......) but I digress......the point here? LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING, it will make for an all around more pleasurable experience.....for you, and for the other drivers on the road. P.S. my car has none of the above-mentioned luxuries (except power windows and power steering) Nope, I don't even have a cassette deck....just a radio which luckily picks up the FM dial heh heh heh
2. I heart Italy (this is a revelation?) I am so looking forward to going this summer I can't even stand it. I mean, it makes me want to jump out of my skin in a giddy exhortation of the virtues of Italian culture and what's more, they have LIFESTYLE!! AAAAHHHH now what would you pay?? But wait!! there's more!!! Just when you think it can't get any better, it does.....I am applying for a scholarship which will pay for tution plus a small stipend (they probably give you ten dollars and tell you to go to the movies or something) BUT.....please please please cross your fingers, legs, arms, or whatever other body part you can think of (not your intestines, though....that would be bad) in hopes that I am awarded said scholarship (also, if you pray to your diety of choice, that would help too) and as I said in an earlier post, I am always open to receiving contributions to the JolieFund for a Better Tomorrow <----- I really should start that foundation......we can send underprivileged American kids to study in Europe for a year...first I have to get over there though.....I'll keep you posted on how that works out, k?
3. I am in love with Dante Alighieri. there. I've said it. Although, he will never take the place of Giovanni (or Harald even) he's damn good. I love the sinners (God bless the Freaks!!) and I must admit to having read ahead and being just a touch disappointed to find out who exactly is in the ninth ring of hell. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'll bet the suspense is killing you, too. Firstly, there are only three people in there (Maritza, when you get there, say hi for me, k? but I warn you, you are going to be BORED!! start repenting now so we will at least be in neighbouring rings...I'm thinking I'll end up in the sixth ring, so try to shoot for five or seven) besides Lucifer of course, and I really must admit that in this instance I really think that the old addage is true: the more the merrier!! so please, if you HAVE in fact committed Treacherous Fraud please start repenting now (again, acknowledging the diety of your choice is a not required, but probably helpful, though in the case of Treacherous Fraud, that mayn't help you either) Here's a hint: think along the lines of Jude (the one who betrayed Jesus), Marcus Junius Brutus Caepio (you remember him....et tu Brute? oh c'mon it's Brutus!! and no, not from Popeye wrong one...think the guy who assassinated Gaius Julius Cesar ) and Gaius Cassius Longinus (who aided and abetted Brutus in assassinating Julius Cesar....oh damn, this is not a history lesson) and let me just say.....I think Trecherous Fraud is fascinating. Not that I would ever commit it or anything, just an interesting glimpse into the psyche of man........perhaps you could say it's a look into the mind of the mind........................

a word about readership

I would like to say a few words about audience, readership, writers, listeners and orators at this time (though I think I may be biting off more than I can chew): WARNING: THIS WILL BE A LONG POST, but I encourage you to forge ahead.....get some popcorn or something to enjoy on this journey :-)
Firstly, I have a general question directed towards those of you in the writing world (and yes, blogging counts as part of the writing world): do you consider your audience when you write?
and to break things down further from there: whom do you think is your audience? and when you write, do you think about anyone in particular? people you know are going to read your book, your article or column, or see your blog for instance? do you censor what you write based on what you think your audience demands? or is it more like whatever, I don't care who's reading, or I'm not even thinking about who's reading?
I'm just curious about this, and pass no judgement one way or the other. As far as my poetry and fiction are concerned, there is no audience unless I decide to share my work with others and therefore I am aware that there IS no audience unless I want there to be; hence, I usually don't write with an audience in mind. Usually, my process is that I write down whatever my brain throws up and go back to polish it up at a later time. As far as papers go, well, yes, I am incredibly aware of the audience (hello professor) but not intimidated by said audience. The thing I worry most about is correct verb tense (not in English however), noun-adjective and verb-adverb agreements not to mention all the other little pecularities of a second language (or third) with which I am yet inexpert. When I write in English, I don't need to consciously consider my audience the same way that I do when I write in other languages, mostly because I am so used to communicating in English that it just comes second nature. As far as the blog goes, I am aware of an audience and while I don't write specifically for them per se, I will occasionally think of them as I write and perhaps insert comments that only they will understand. I am also well aware that readership here is not all that high, and I do not publicize the blog, nor do I comment very often on others' blogs (FOR SHAME, JOLIE!!), so I'm pretty safe here to say whatever the hell I want, knowing that I'm a very faint star in the galaxy of the internet, and probably can't even been seen in very well-lit areas, being drowned out by the ambient light and less visible than other, brighter stars. That being said, let me proceed with my post:
In the process of thinking about readership and writership (due in part to my exposure to such greats as Dante, Boccaccio, Ovid, Virgil, Shakespeare, D'Annunzio, Emerson, Eliot, and the list just goes on an on) I have come to understand that sometimes, audience is everything. The intended audience can really play a part in the writing!! Consider: Boccaccio declared in the introduction to the Decameron (I can't believe I'm actually referencing Boccaccio....I apparently really do love him) that he was indebted to the women in his life for many things. He furthered that idea later on in the book when refuting his critics he said that women were absolutely capable (a fact often denied and repudiated by men of the time) of thinking (GASP!)! but beyond thinking, of cleverness, astuteness (damn that sounds so much better in Italian), and ingenuity. His critics had chastised him repeatedly apparently for being to involved with women and concentrating too much on them in his writing. Seven of the ten narrators in the Decameron were women, and many of the characters in the novelle were female and smart, not at all like your traditional victim types.
The Decameron is written in the vulgate floretine language of the time (1349 a.d.) (which later evolves into Standard Italian with a few tweaks here and there) NOT in Latin. However, Boccaccio did write other works in Latin: he wrote a commentary on Dante's Divine Comedy as well as De Genealogiis decorum gentilium which is basically a geanology of Greek and Roman gods and goddesses (already done by Ovid). I'm relatively sure that he wrote something related to the Bible as well, but don't quote me on that. Clearly, he considered his audience as evidenced by his choice of language. He wrote for the learned community in Latin and for everyone in vulgate. His stories (the novelle) are all written in the vulgate floretine while his more "academic" persuits are written in Latin. He was clearly appealing to the aristocracy with his novelle while appealing to the more highly educated sector of society (monks, ecclesiastical sorts, lawyers, doctors, academics, philosophers, etc) with his various treatises on more "serious" subjects.
Take R.W. Emerson and H.D. Thoreau as further examples: Their writing styles are very different and I believe that that is due, in part, to their perceived audiences. It is clear that Emerson appealed to a highly educated, politically involved audience, while Thoreau appealed to a less educated, and less politically involved audience. I think Emerson was trying raise points to those already enmeshed in "higher" pursuits, while Thoreau was trying to encourage people to aspire to high pursuits. Their politics were slightly different as well, and obviously that accounts for some of the differences in writing style (not to mention that they are both individuals with unique brains and unique viewpoints), but overall, I think that the stylistic differences can also be accounted for by each man's perception of his audience.
And then there's Dante Alighieri: Dante wrote the Divina Commedia in vulgate floretine, while he wrote De volgare eloquentia in Latin, completely for the sake of audience and adherence to form. At that time (1301 a.d.) it was common for treatises (both legal and academic) to be written in Latin, while literature was being written in vulgate, predominantly directed towards the common people (most women couldn't read unless they were nuns, even aristocratic women were not very highly educated, though more of them were educated than peasant women) and there are actually numerous examples of educated women (read: doctors) in Italy during this period in history.
So, after all of this, we have finally reached our conclusion: audience and the writers' conscious awareness thereof can have a heavy impact on writing. This extends to all sorts of writing throughout history. Despite the absence of blogs and newspapers (the printing press wasn't even invented until 1451 a.d., but it sure as hell revolutionized the written word!!) or written work that would reach the peasant masses (because they couldn't read it!!) in the Roman Empire, the 1300's or the late 19th early 20th centuries (ok, so we had newspapers by then), it is abundantly clear that since people have been writing, audience has been a consideration. I have always been fascinated with writing, and what it does to the brain. Why is it that when we write something down we tend to remember it better? or in the process of writing, arguments become clearer and further solidified? or when writing poetry, one image bounces off another which results in profound picture and vision into the author? It is easier to make connections between ideas when writing and rereading one's own work.....
I love to write, and I love to read, and even though I don't comment all that often, nor do I participate in forums and other online interactive activites, I am still always curious to see peoples' processes, which in my opinion, are always creative, and always fun to participate in because after all, when you read actively, you are a participant in the process.

peanuts and other legumes

well, I discovered this morning after much suspense (and a few cankles) that I have no peanut allergy (nor am I allergic to corn, wheat, soy, shrimp, shellfish, milk, walnuts, or strawberries....I needed a doctor to tell me this? hardly). Though apparently my IGH is up (look out, it might hit you in the head if we're not careful) so I am allergic to something, unfortunately nobody is quite sure just what though. (clearly it isn't the cat) I am really inclined to believe that this reaction has something to do with chemical exposure at work. Surely the doctor will never swear to this if I decided to sue my former employer for giving me allergic reactions to benign substances, but whatever....we can chalk it up to the medical community being so intimidated by threats of malpractice suits (and probably penguin suits, too) not to mention that the insurance companies being given the authority to decide what is and what is not a medically necessary procedure or test. But I digress.........So dude wants me to go see an allergist and I must say I am not thrilled about this. I dare them to try to medicate me unnecessarily....they'll have to sedate me first (which sadly, is not outside the realm of possibility). I'm not sure this really matters all that much.
In other news: I think I have decided that the PhD is the way to go. Most of my friends at school are discussing their MA or MSEd plans after graduation and I'm thinking to myself: "Hey, if I'm going to spend the time getting an MA, why don't I just go all out and do it en route to a PhD?" this makes a hell of a lot more sense to me (besides, there's almost no funding available for master's degree programs, and I need all the monetary help I can get)....speaking of, if anyone wants to send me money, please let me know via e.mail and we can make some arrangement.......

the organized life

that I should have one!!
my life is sort of what I lovingly refer to as organized chaos...kinda like what's going on in my head most of the time. Though I will say to my own credit that I can find anything at any given time as I have memorized the piles of stuff in my house; where they are and what's in them. So I can find random scraps of paper in moments, should the need arise. These are my files -- my files amount to successively sized piles on the floor under my bed (ssssssshhhhhhhhh!! do not tell anyone about this.....people think I'm neat and organized). I also have archived files. These are closer to the wall, and therefore more difficult to reach. This qualifies them as archived files.
I rearranged the furniture in my apartment a little, in hopes of clearing up some of the clutter. I figured that, hey, if I was already making random piles of crap around the one room that at least has some semblance of floor space that I might actually get so annoyed with having papers and shit strewn all over the place that I might successfully endeavor to throw some of it away.
Sadly, I was mistaken. Thus is not the case. The road to hell is paved with good intentions (and apparently frauds to hear Dante tell it). So now I have piles of stuff strewn all over the living room (hey, at least they're in piles) and no one to clean it up....oh wait, I'm here! I think I'll clean up! Um, ok, maybe tomorrow. or then again, maybe not....I can think of much more productive and rewarding activities than cleaning my house on a saturday afternoon (especially if it's sunny out)

creative moments

and now, creative moments (without Jack Handy..........and thankfully so because that guy was damn annoying!)
well, happily, I have finished my dreaded paper on Marco Polo and his Travels anche si chiama questo libro in italiano Il Milione....e devo dire che ci sono persone che dicevano che il titolo del libro viene dal fatto che contiene solo delle bugie, ma non credo cosi'..............credo che almeno una parte di questo libro sia la verita' (at least in part) not to mention that there are quality lessons to be gleaned therein: religious tolerance that hardly ever exists! (la toleranza religiosa...........che non esiste quasi mai!!), separation of church and state (che dovrebbe essere una divisione fra lo stato e la chiesa), respect for other cultures and ways of doing things (rispetto per altri culture e modi di fare le cose), the essential nature of cross-cultural contact (l'essenzialita' di aver contatto con altre culture), the fun of travel!! (il divertimento dei viaggi!!) the importance of being at least bilingual, if not multilingual (l'importanza di essere almeno bilingue, se non multilingue!) e ci sono delle altre cose, ma sono stanca e non voglio pensare da niente!! and there are other things, but I'm tired and I don't want to think about anything!! OH!! before I forget, this book has also taught me the importance of agreement in gender and number, both in language and in life......O!! Prima che mi sono dimenticata, questo libro mi ha insegnato l'importanza della concordanza di genere e di numero nelle lingue e anche nella vita!
and so I will leave you with this deep thought:
I fell asleep reading this book almost every time that I picked it up but I really managed to learn a lot from it (mostly, it reinforced what I've always known: the importance of a good nap)
e cosi' ti lascio con questo pensiero profondo:
Mi sono addormentata quasi ogni volta che ho preso e letto questo libro, ma nonostante che ho dormito, ho imparato un sacco di cose (soprattutto ha rinforzato qualcosa che sapevo da anni: l'importanza di una buona pennichella)